Our Young Adults asked me to come in last night and close up a series they've been doing on spiritual disciplines. I shared on the Discipline of solitude. Here's the points and steps I shared.
Some Observations on Solitude:
Solitude and silence can go hand in hand. Solitude can be noisy, but we have to usher in silence to in hopes to hear the God's holy noise.
Solitude is about more than audible silence. There's visual, emotional, relational, and even spiritual noise that we may need to remove at times.
Solitude can be synonymous with being alone, but is the antithesis of loneliness. The goal is contentment in it just being you and God.
Solitude is the key to mastering healthy TAWG (Time Alone With God). A key in TAWG is Alone. We must learn to be fed directly from God and His word and not simply through others.
Solitude is vital to healthy identity and compassion toward others.
Some Basic Steps:
Find consistent Time Alone With God.
Take advantage of the little solitudes throughout the day.
Create your own Fortress of Solitude.
Set up MAWGs, NAWGs, and/or DAWGs. (mornings lone, nights alone, days alone)
This is a sad anniversary. Columbine. Tragedy on so many levels. Much Changed. I'm not sure there was much change in teen world immediately, but there was a lot of change in parent, adult, youth ministry, and education world. I think the ripples of change in teen world have been very significant since that day Looking back on all that happened, there is also some amazing ministry as a product of that day. I'll never forget that Wednesday Night in 2003 when Darrel Scott (Rachel Scott's father) shared to a packed NorthWood High School Gym. Hundreds responded to follow Christ.
Not much more I wanted to say, but just that I pause to remember.Some other bloggers thoughts here, here, and here.
Our Student Ministries Staff is offering a 5-week Wednesday Night session for parents of 5th-12th Grade... I made up a new phrase for my session with parents...
IMPLICATORY PARENTING*: What is it? Here's the definition I made up for the phrase I made up... Taking time to consider the implication of a child's environment, actions, and activities in order to best raise and support him/her toward spiritual health.
Or more simply stated... looking and asking, "So what does this all mean?"
We took time to look at this scientifically or statistically. What is the world our kids are growing up in. We took time to discuss some of the implications of what this video tells us...
Some of the thoughts parents shared (obviously I'm paraphrasing):
This world is changing so fast that we need to focus on instilling and teaching values that can be translated throughout all the changes rather than simply responding to one single technology, trend, etc. (brilliant observation, I might add).
Many of these trends create new opportunities for kids to engage in sinful activity, but they also create incredible opportunities to advance the Kingdom.
We need to be ready for students to struggle a little with their college educations due to the incredible informational change curve. When they are considering a change in major, it may be a good idea!
"Is the Amish church accepting new members?" (this was a good laugh)
We took an anonymous survey (only asked for grade and gender) of our students concerning some of the technology they are involved in as well as asked about some of the big struggles statistics are saying students are involved in (porn on the web, cheating in school, lying, texting pics with nudity -a.k.a. "sexting"). I shared those results with parents. I won't be sharing those on this blog (if you want to know them, you'll have to come on May 13 where we'll dive into them a little more).
To close, I shared experientially (meaning from my observation over the past 12 years working here) the implications of a healthy parent/teen relationship. I took about 5-6 individuals in each of the following categories, as well as 2-3 three that were the opposite of that category, and tried to find some common threads. Here's some of my conclusions.
I would define "healthy" where there is open communication, shared respect, spiritual leadership and mentoring fromt he parent (over just being a buddy),
Guys who have a healthy relationship with their mother tend to...
be more respectful to women.
be sought after by gals.
look out for the "underdog."
display a keen sensitivity to the Holy Spirit (this is an added bonus, didn't share it Wednesday, but it struck me as I've continued to reflect)
Guys who have a healthy relationship with their father tend to...
show respect to authority.
step up when there is a leadership gap.
be passionate lovers of Christ (if their father is).
Gals who have a healthy relationship with their mother tend to...
disply more compassion.
dave healthier friendships.
show a healthier decision-making process.
Gals who have a healthy relationship with their father tend to...
"date around" less.
have a healthy self-image.
avoid the "disorder" struggles (eating disorders, self mutilation, etc.)
eat more meat (totally kidding)
These cannot be labeled as all true, all the time, nor are they only present in those with healthy relationships. They were simply the common threads I saw where there were healthy relationship, and the common lack I saw where there were unhealthy relationships.
It was a great time sharing and being with parents. We have some great ones at NMC!
*Although I made up the phrase Implicatory parenting, it is inspired by the phrase Implicatory preaching, which is explained by Doug Pagitt in his book Preaching Reimagined.
Easter has never been a huge one at mom and dad's place (there were definitely big traditions with both sets of Grandparents in the younger years), but the day was filled with little reminders...
My Grandpa leading us in the lunch time prayer instead.
Talking Cubs baseball, and not having him there to add his two cents.
After the Easter egg hunt, mom standing alone as the grandkids took account of their acquisitions.
It was topped off with our first visit to the grave site since the burial. We planted some flowers. It was actually a very enjoyable day together. Katylynn had an absolute blast. It just felt a little incomplete. A short disclaimer to explain that these posts concerning grief are part personal reflection, and part allotting space for those readers who have walked through tragedy to know they aren't walking alone. They are not intended to garner extra sympathy.
