Tonight at NMC

I shared a message tonight that has been brewing in me for many years.  Here's some of the biggest thoughts from it...

• Have you ever felt used in a relationship? I know I have.   I had my license early in my Sophomore year, and it was amazing how many people became friends with me at that point. We can run a risk of doing this with God. When our main reason for following God is out of a desire to get something from him… heaven, feelings, a supernatural move (miracles, gifts, etc.)… we are missing the point. 
• The reason we follow God because He is God. 
• Tonight, we did not sing "You are here for us".... we sang, "We are here for you."  BUT, which version are we singing in our everyday life?
•  The idea of seeking God over God’s move is laced throughout scripture... 
• In Amos the people were seeking the places of worship over God.  He had some harsh words to say to them in Amos 5:4-6.
• We love the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you) but that promise is incomplete without Jeremiah 29:12-13 (You will seek me and find me when you seek ME with all your heart).
• Philippians 4:13 is grossly misquoted.  Check out Philippians 4:11-12 sometime.

•  Some of you may be saying, “Wait a minute? So I shouldn’t want to see God move? I shouldn’t want to get to heaven? Is it bad to want to feel God’s presence?” No, I’m not saying that. What I’m trying to get at is this… 
• Let’s be careful that we are seeking the Creator and not his creation. 
• Let’s worship the Doer and not the things he’s done. 
• Let’s place our trust in the Giver and not in His gifts.

The Things That Run Through My Mind - The Bookshelf and the Secular/Sacred Question

I'm not a very organized person, but there are times when I get really particular.  One of those times would be with organizing the books on my bookshelf.  I've tried several different methods...
Alphabetical order by author.
Giving each shelf a category, then alphabetizing by title.
Tallest to shortest.
My recent setup is by color... kind of like the way it looks.
I know, it's  a little weird, but this is how my mind works.

The other day I went in to organize my oldest daughter's bookshelf.  It had become a hot mess.  I had tried several different methods to help my almost 5 year old figure out how to have a nice looking cleanly arranged shelf, but my efforts to this point had equaled out to epic failure.  So, I started in again.
My first move was to get all her Bible books and stories to the top left corner and then proceed to Clifford, Curious George, Disney, and then round off the bottom with Dr. Seuss.  But even before I got to Clifford I paused...

These are the things that run through my mind...

What am I teaching my daughter by putting her Bibles and other stories in their own section?  On one hand, I'm letting her know that God's Word is to hold a unique and special spot in our lives.  I mean, I make every once in a while when reading about Cinderella then about Mary, that the story of Cinderella is make believe, but the story of Mary really happened, and her story can truly change our lives.  I want her to love God's word and cherish it in a way different than other writings/texts/books.

But, on the other hand, am I running the risk of pushing a separatist mindset in her that is unhealthy?  By my sacred books and there are secular books, am I encouraging her to view the world through these lenses.  Am I telling her we will have "Jesus parts" to our life, but then have the "other parts."  I can't stand seeing a lifestyle in me or anyone else who turns their spiritual on and off like a faucet or light switch.  God, help me not be a parent who doesn't allow this to happen in my children.

And maybe (probably) in that last thought that ran through my mind, I think I ran into the key.  Maybe it's not about the placement of the books on the bookshelf.  Maybe it's more about the placement of God's Word in our conversations.  Maybe it's more about the placement of Jesus in my everyday life.

Or maybe I need to get a hobby other than organizing books on a bookshelf.  

The Things That Run Through My Mind

Over the next bit, I'll be posting in a little bit of a series, some of the thoughts that have been running through my mind lately.  This will include thoughts on parenting, integrity, youth ministry, sports, influence, and life in a small town.
Keep in mind, these are "thoughts".  To me, thoughts are...
... incomplete and unfiltered.
... far from gospel.
... sometimes opinions.
... sometimes questions that haven't even moved to opinions yet.

So, let the journey begin.

How Could You Not Share Your Faith?

We knew going into our Summer Camp this year that UNASHAMED was not just a theme for Camp, but for an entire school year.  We're still unpacking what that exactly means, but we know that a big part of this is challenging students and leaders alike to be bold in sharing our faith in Jesus.

This morning in our LIVE Class Kickoff with Senior High, I showed this video from illusionist and staunch atheist Penn Jilette.  It's been around for several years, but every time I watch it, I'm challenged.  Hope you are too.

5 Thoughts on the The Colts

It was going to be 5 thoughts on the NFL, but with news of another neck surgery and 2-3 month recovery, I thought I'd zero in on the Colts.

Thought #1 - Go sign David Garrard to a one year deal.
He knows the division. All reports are that he is a quality guy.  He's younger and more versatile than Collins. 

Thought #2 - I will still watch the Colts weekly.
There are Colts fans and then there are Peyton Manning fans.  I have no problem with either.  I'm a Colts fan.  I really started cheering for them when "Captain Comeback" Jim Harbaugh (now coaching the 49ers) was the QB.  I can understand how some fans will not watch a Manningless Colts.  The style of offense is thoroughly entertaining.  It may be very painful to watch this season, but I'll still watch.  I love Dallas Clark, Austin Collie, Jeff Saturday, Dwight Freeney, and Robert Mathis.  I'll still watch.

Though #3 - I think the Colts could still win the Division.
I'm not saying the Colts will win the division.  I'm just saying they could.  Think about it... the Jags just threw away this season dropping Garrard.  The Titans have a new coach and new quarterback in a severely shortened off season.  Clearly the Texans are the favorites for the division.  If held down and forced to make a prediction, I would predict the Texans to win, but they've had the same talent they now have for the past three season.  They seem to consistently find a way to lose despite.


Thought #4 - Go with Delone Carter.
Joseph Addai drives me nuts as a RB.  He looked fantastic at the beginning of his career. Lately, if he's not injured, he runs as if he's afraid of getting injured.  It's time to move to a new feature back.  If Manning is really out for the season, I say go with a RB by committee setup.  Next season, put Delone Carter in that role.


Thought #5 - This season may help shed light on how great of a QB Peyton Manning is.
In this whole conversation of Manning missing time, I've heard a statement again and again, "No player is more important to his team than Peyton Manning." 
There's plenty of debate on who's the best in the QB position.  It's a 6 person argument in the "current" debate... Manning, Brady, Rodgers, Roethlisberger, Brees, Rivers.  Brady and Manning get thrown into the "all-time" debate with the likes of Montana, Elway, Unitas, Favre and Marino.
Here's my thing... 
IF you take into light the team history with him as QB in 13 seasons (11 winning seasons,  11 Playoff appearances 7 Division Champs, 2 Conference Champs, 1 Super Bowl),
IF the statement that "No player is more important to his team than Peyton Manning
IF the Colts tank this season.
THEN Peyton Manning is the best  Quarterback in the NFL, is he not?
I tend to agree in theory that no player is more important, but we've not had a chance to see that in theory in meaningful action.  I guess we get to see it now.

5 Thoughts For Student Athletes

Thought #1:  Practice and Play Hard.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, (Colossians 3:23)

Thought #2:  Lose Well.
 It's easy to win well.

Thought #3:  You probably won't play past High School.
Enjoy other parts.  It is not your life, it's just a part of your life.

Thought #4:  Tell your parents to lighten up.
I know, a lot of times, it's more important to them than you.  Don't be afraid to remind them your a STUDENT athlete.


Thought #5:  Let this privilege push your toward responsiblity and not entitlement.
I'll let Michigan State QB explain this one. He does it much better than I ever could.

5 Thoughts For Youth Pastors

Thought #1:  You are valued.
There is a generation that is looking to be led to something significant.  You are important to the kingdom. 

Thought #2:  You will get beat up.
You will get criticized, ostracized, and vllainized by parents, students, coworkers, satan, and yourself.  It WILL HAPPEN.

Thought #3:  You won't get everything done.
There will always be one more phone call, one more project, one more meeting, one more sporting event.  Sometimes you just gotta say no and go home.

Thought #4:  Who you are is more important than what you do.
What good is it if you gain the whole ministry world, yet forfeit your soul? Let your relationship with Christ be the priority and let your ministry flow from that... not the reverse.

Thought #5:  You are replaceable.
If the ministry would tank without you, you've failed as a leader.  The Holy Spirit is the  only irreplaceable!

5 Thoughts

Time to start blogging again. Going to do a mini-series called "5 Thoughts".  I'll throw out 5 thoughts for a group of people.  It will go as follows:

Tuesday:  5 Thoughts for Youth Pastors.
Wednesday:  5 Thoughts for Student Athletes.
Thursday:  5 Thoughts for Dads.
Friday:  5 Thoughts for NMC.

Here we go!

On Trite Sayings & Christian Cliches: Salve versus Salt

I made a the following comment in my last Adoption Update:

Trite sayings (it will all work out in the end) and Christian cliches (It's all in His timing) are more annoying than helpful (just a little brutal honesty there).

I've had multiple conversations over this comment.  Some were apologies from those who were afraid they had done this (which if you are worried, don't sweat it).  Many were those who have walked through trials or tough times and were simply saying "Amen" or "Thank you for saying that."

One was from a friend who has walked this adoption path before us.  Another was a dad who just found out his 2 1/2 year old was autistic.  There was also the one who had recently walked through a divorce.  In all cases, they echoed what I've been feeling.

1. We know that for the most part, everyone is well-intentioned when offering up their words of encouragement or advice.
2. We know that God's timing is perfect, his ways aren't ours, that He's in control, that "this too shall pass", and on and on.
3. We don't want to get annoyed with this encouragement and/or advice.  For some reason, it feels like salt instead of salve on a wound.

So, as a guy who's walked through three valleys (nearly 7 years infertility, death of dad, current adoption wait), and a guy who has had to be present in multiple valleys, here's some thoughts on what words can serve as salve:

• "I'm sorry," "This is tough," "This sucks, man" etc.  It's the phrases that simply recognize that a person is walking through the tough times.  Here's the key though, leave it at that.  No additions.  What we often what to do is say "I'm sorry, BUT..." and then we throw in the added thoughts.  These added thoughts may be completely true and valuable advice.  The problem is that the BUT overshadows the identity with the pain, and empathy, sympathy and compassion can be quickly lost.
  
  
• "I'm praying for you."  I'm not saying you should say this if you aren't or don't plan to pray.  If you are willing to, it's amazing what this does.  First, the statement is a statement that says, "I stand beside you."  Second, it says all that needs to be said as far as encouragement or advice.  You are lifting that person up to the One who is in control, who will work things out, etc.  Third, there's something supernatural that is at work as you pray.  I can't explain it, but I've experienced.  I have and even now feel the prayers of those lifting me up in tough times.
  
  
• NOTHING.  Seriously, say nothing.  I'm not saying avoid the person.  Actually, make sure they know you are there, but let your presence speak instead of your words.  One of my favorite parts of the story of Job is the moment when his friends first show up after he gets everything stripped away from him...
  

  Job 2:13 - Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

  I love it.  The power of presence.  Interestingly, this is about the only thing Job's friends did correctly.  When they decided to open their mouths, they gave Job terrible advice and thoughts.  Sometimes, it's a hand on a shoulder or a hug.  Sometimes, it's just looking someone in the eyes and giving him/her a nod.

 I am beyond grateful and amazed at the many who have come alongside us in multiple ways.  We greatly appreciate those who authentically care.  These are merely thoughts running through my head right now and reminders to myself as I seek to love my neighbor as myself.

Where I Want to Be

I feel like my worship/prayer life is borderline hypocritical.

I tend to cringe and have a little battle in my mind and heart when I'm challenged by a worship leader who says, "Only sing this if you really mean it." The reason being that more times than not, I find my prayers to be, "God, I'm struggling to, but here's what I want to do for you."  I find the attitude in the songs I sing to be, "God, I'm not quite there yet, but this is where I want to be."

My wife recently had a conversation with a student during a worship session (we were singing songs together) where she just seemed unengaged/ emotionally dead.  The gal told Janelle, "I can't sing these songs because I don't mean them."  My wife, as only she can do, helped the gal unpack her thoughts and that statement.   This gal was at a bit of a stalemate in her walk with Jesus.  She'd let some areas of her life slip, and she was feeling terrible about it.  Janelle encouraged her to take up a different attitude as she sang that night.  She gave her permission to sing, not about where she currently was, but for where she wants to be.

Currently, this song fits that mold for me.  God, I sing this song not because I'm there, but because it's where I want to be...

In the In-Between Times

As a little kid, my church had a youth pastor named Steve.  He played a mean acoustic guitar, which was near blasphemy to many in rural Indiana at that time. He had a pretty cool folk sound to him (it was the 80s, so it worked well). I have a feeling he was a master of making the most of a moment around the campfire.

Anyway, when he sang, I vividly remember two songs he sang in church. 

One was the The Crayon Box Song:
Red is the color of the blood that he shed.
Brown is for the crown they laid upon his head.
Blue is for royalty, 
Yellow is for the Christian... who's afraid to tell.

(been about 25 years since I've heard the song, and I can still picture him picking away and singing... power of music)

The second was a song called "Love Him in the Morning":

Love Him in the morning, when you see the sun arising,
Love Him in the evening 'cause He took you through the day,
And in the in-between time when you feel the pressure coming,
Remember that He loves you and He promises to stay.

When you think you have to worry,
'Cause the things you have to do,
Remember He's not in a hurry,
He's always got time for You,

I randomly woke up with this song in my head this morning.  I say randomly, but as I was singing it in the shower this morning (yes I sing in the shower) I hit the "And in the in-between times..." line and did pause.

These next weeks are a major in-between time filled with angst, anticipation, fears, and impatience.  I want to get back to Uganda and get my son home.  Yet, I will remember that He loves me.  I will remember His promises.  I will remember He is in control.  I can trust Him.

"I Turned out Okay"

Are you a parent, youth worker, teacher, big brother/sister who looks at the actions/choices/attitude of a teen you care about and worry where their life is heading?

I am a youth worker who does this. Very often.

Mike Yaconelli once said the best thing any youth pastor could do is put a picture of themselves as a Junior Higher up in their office as a reminder.  I haven't literally done this, but I will often stop and put myself back in my 7-12th grade years just to remember how I viewed life, what I was involved in, and where my focus on God was.

More times than not, I cringe.  I was I also take great comfort in thinking about where I was at that time, and where God has taken me since.  It's a little moment of assurance to remember those years, and the fact that I turned out okay.

"I turned out okay."  You ever said that when thinking about a troubled teen.  It can be a very comforting statement.  God's meticulous providence and grace are much bigger than we often let them be. Students can and will make huge mistakes in their life and still recover/rebound.  They are kids and there has to be room left for them to be kids.  "I turned out okay" can be a statement of assurance that God is God and we are not.

At the same time, I have heard situations where "I turned out okay" makes me cringe more than my memories of Junior High.  It can be a very dangerous statement when used in an apathetic or flippant manner.  Some thoughts on what make this statement dangerous:

• Are you avoiding responsibility?  When we see a teen in crisis, there may be the temptation to avoid conflict or the pain of challenging a teen's mindset. If you are a youth worker, it's your responsibility to shepherd your flock. If you are a parent, it's your responsibility to parent your kids.  There is a time and place where you can and should step up and say, "I can't let you go down this road without speaking up" or "I'm not letting you get away with this stuff."
• What about the mess they're choosing right now?  Why do we so quickly forget that God's path is the best path to take in the here and now and not just so we can get to heaven.  Keep in mind that a teen living in rebellion/ poor choices/ unhealthy actions is living in SIN.  SIN is painful and messy whether the SIN-ner wants to recognize it or not.  Sure, they may turn out okay, but there's still pain in the moment and scars in the long run.  Which brings me to my next question...
• Did you really turn out okay?  I mean, yes I'm blessed, seeking after God, and He's very alive in my life.  At the same time, I'd be lying to say I'm not still dealing with the consequences of some of the bad choices and patterns from my teen years. So my life is turning out "okay", but there are situations I walked through that turned our far from "okay."  Why would I not want to offer assistance to those potentially heading into "not okay" situations?
• What if they don't turn out okay?  Maybe you turned out okay, but there are those who haven't.  12 years at the same church gives me a decent amount of case studies to show that not everyone turns it around.  There's been some amazing turnarounds.  I can think of a former student who will get baptized on Easter that is an AMAZING story of someone who is "turning out okay."  Yet, there's some other, nearly nightmarish stories that are, at this point, far from "turning out okay."
  
  • The former student who is in prison for dealing meth.
  • The former student who was murdered two months after graduation in a drug deal gone bad.
  • The former student with three children from three different men.
  • The former student who hates the church and his parents, because, he tells me, nobody reached out to him when he's hurting.
   

 Back to my initial thought, there is great value and assurance in the reminder that God's grace is huge, and while on this earth there is always hope for a turnaround.  In fact, in the above list, I take comfort in the hope that three of these 4 former students may still turn out okay.  Yet, take pause when finding assurance, and make sure your thoughts are rooted with a deep burden out of love and compassion to those whose direction you are concerned about.

Some Strong Opinions

• The "terrible twos" are a myth.  
• The "trouble-making threes"* are a reality.
• The time between the Super Bowl and March Madness is the worst sports time of the year.
• The main thing email, Facebook, Twitter, and texting has done is create an impossible singular format to effectively communicate to a group of people.
• Smart phones, as a whole are significantly overrated, and a great way to waste money.
• Justice is a spiritual, not a political issue.
• The promises of God are sweet, assuring and I gotta remember to look to them.
• God's mercies are new every morning, and man I need them every morning.
• There is a some sort of addictive agent included in Dean's French Onion chip dip.
• I'm far from arrived.

10 Strong Opinions

1. Thanksgiving is a fantastic holiday for stopping to remember all the blessings God has bestowed.  Christmas is a fantastic holiday for remembering God Incarnate, creating the way for a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  I find it unfortunate that the uber-commercialization of Christmas  has seemingly hindered the heart of both holidays.
2. The Indianapolis Colts still have a very good chance at a Super Bowl run.
3. Sexual sin is causing more damage in the current teen generation than any other sin. It is not easy to explain to students the importance of abstaining from even a "hint of sexual immorality" with so much compromise around them (finger pointed at myself here as well).  It's also a tricky balance to continue to push those staying on the path of purity to remain pure while explaining forgiveness and grace to those who have walked the road of sexual impurity.  The best I can say is that forgiveness is immediate, but healing for sexual sin is a long and brutal path.
4. As much as I love ESPN, the overexposure and conjecture on sports-related stories (Vikings Locker Room Drama, Lebron James to Miami, Tiger Woods personal life) is not healthy.  Furthermore, as a follower of Christ, I would do well to desire integrity out of athletes yet balance grace toward those in the spotlight.
5. The church is a divine institution that has been entrusted to cracked/flawed vessels.  There is beauty in all this mess, and those Christian detractors from the American Church setup would do well to remember.  I have a feeling house churches, disciple making movements, missional churches, attractional churches, liturgical churches, denominational churches, and community churches all will face failures, ineffectiveness and irrelevance. Last I checked, the changing work of Jesus Christ on the Cross and the work of the Holy Spirit is the key, not the model.
6. My opinions on immigration law would likely be contrary or offensive 80% of the readers of this blog.
7. Facebook is not the problem (story here).  Let's quit going after the symptons and start focusing on the disease.
8. Christians should stop looking to Glen Beck for spiritual direction.
9. I underestimate the role that Satan and the demonic play in my everyday life, and I even more underestimate the power and authority I have over it all through Jesus Christ.
10. McDonald's Diet Coke is the best tasting Diet Coke around.

Change and Values...

I started this blog in March, 2006.  In that time I have made 2,440 posts (this is 2,441).  The journey over that time has been crazy.  Since starting this blog...

• I have seen the Student Ministries Staff change drastically.  I am now the only member still present in the office wing that was there at that time.  Chris Lehane joined the team in May, 2006 and Kristy Mikel had not made her move over to our wing yet.  Since that time, Jeremiah moved to California.  Janelle became a full-time stay-at-home mom, and Terry & Jason moved over to the dark side (a.k.a. the adult wing).
• Furthermore, my role has changed quite a bit.  I have moved from a focused role as a Senior High Pastor with very little responsibilities outside the walls of those things that happen in the NMC Fieldhouse to a Captain over Student Ministires at NMC, a member of the platform team for Sunday mornings at NMC, and some roles and responsibilities in  some of NMC's Global Initiatives.
• I've become a dad.  It happened in some pretty amazing ways.  My little girl is an amazing blessing and responsibility.  I'm actually a dad 2 times over at this point.  Our little will be with us soon.
• I lost my dad. It was the toughest thing I've ever walked through.  It's still tough.

I could go on and on with the changes.  Most of these changes found me, I didn't go looking for them.  As change happens, it becomes tough knowing if you should be embracing it or resisting it.

I went through  a recent exercise in an effort to seek out some of the core values that define who I am and what I'm about.  As a part of that process, 10 values rose to the top for me.

1. Optimism.
2. Exhortation.
3. Multiplication.
4. Relationship.
5. Empathy.
6. Justice.
7. Inspiration.
8. Transparency.
9. Humor.
10. Creativity.

These are 10 values I believe God has branded on me as well as developed me in over time. As I seek his will for my life, these values have to be present.

What Gets Me Fired Up

Going to do a little series over the next couple weeks on things I passionate about.
I'm calling it "What Get's Me Fired Up!"  I think it will explain itself as it goes.

Sprint, Walk, Rest

I've started running.  It's in preparation for our 5KIN in November.  I'm also doing it because I'm getting severely physically inactive.  I'm a week and a half into training, and actually enjoying it. But that's not the point of this post.

This is about the pace of ministry, and more specifically student ministries.  A youth pastor once told me, "finding daily balance in youth ministry is a pipe dream."  I was deeply bothered and thought he should be fired from his position.  Years later, I find myself fully agreeing with this seasoned veteran who sought to give me some advice.

Don't get me wrong.  I think finding a life balance in the student ministries world is entirely possible, but it can only be discovered over longer periods of time.  Balance can best be found over a year.  There's a huge desire to find a nice jogging pace when it comes to handling schedules, church/home life, student crises, programs, logistics, trips, parent meetings, staff meetings, personal Time With God, message prep, hanging with friends, and about 20 other things before you get some sleep.  "Jogging" just doesn't happen  Instead, I think there are 3 paces or rhythms you will find/ or need to find over time to create "balance."

Sprint: These are the moments that can bring you to life in ministry. A missions trip, Fall Kickoff season, major programming days (Wednesdays or Sundays in my case), or Summer Camp would fit in this category.  There's long hours, great energy and often fantastic spiritual fruit. 

Walk:  These are times where the pace slows way down.  The crises are less, the events are not pressing in, and/or programming is scaled back.  It isn't "going through the motions," but there is a slower feel around.  Some may say these times never exist in ministry. That may be true, but these times NEED to happen. If they are not, the calender needs to be cleaned up. 

Rest:  These are the break times.  Days off or vacation time, these are the moments where there is a need to  just STOP and unplug from it all.  These times, for me, are absolutely essential for two reasons.

1. To appreciate what I have in ministry.  Too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.
2. To prioritize family.  I want there to be times when my family has ALL of me.  No chance to get called away for anything church-related.

If I run and walk without resting, I will crash at some point.
If I run and rest without walking, I will grow to resent ministry.
If I walk and rest without running, I'm just lazy.

May those in ministry know that daily balance is a pipe dream, yet balance can be found over time.

Understanding Doesn't Make it Right

Being a Youth Pastor brings it's share of confusing/frustrating statements that you can hear multiple times from multiple sources. Three that rise to the top for me...

• So when do you think you'll become a "real pastor"? It's actually rarely asked in this exact form. It usually takes the form, "Do you ever see yourself as a Senior Pastor?" or "When do you think you'll move on from being a youth pastor?" Obviously, the way I interpret is shows where my confusion/frustration comes from... is there something wrong with the thought that I would love to go to the grave as a youth pastor? I firmly believe God has called me, along with a select group of others to life of raising up generations that will take over the church.
  
  
• What are we going to do about ____________? Insert blank with some issue surrounding the youth in the church... texting during worship services, students who were caught at a party over the weekend, a student who is struggling to connect in the youth ministry, immodest dress at a church program, a sudden onslaught of students getting non-ear piercings and Twilight themed tattoos. The confusion/frustration can be in one of two forms.
  
  1. What exactly to you mean by we? Are you sure you don't mean you? Now, don't get me wrong, there are the rare times where someone comes to me with an issue and they are authentically looking for a team approach, but most often, someone's irritated with something "those youth" are doing, but in no way desires to do anything about it. Are you bothered by the disruption being caused by a group of students in a Worship Service? Let them know!
  2. Do we really need to do anything about ____________? There are moments where the issue brought to me is a concern, and I'm actually really excited about it! Take the moment one of our leaders came to me and said, "What are we going to do about all these girls showing up in such skimpy outfits?" I asked her to discreetly point out a couple of examples out. She did so. The leader had room for concern... the shorts and shirts were probably better fitting on a 2nd Grader than a High School students. and I smiled (no, not because of that! Get your mind out of the gutter). I smiled because I was aware of both gals stories.
     One was completely unchurched and had come with a friend who had been loving, praying and encouraging her for months to come. This "immodest" gal had been coming for several weeks and was really seeking to understand what it meant to know Christ.
     The second was from a very religious home where her parents had recently gone through a divorce where an affair was involved. She was deeply hurt to see her "Christian" dad abandon her family for someone other than her mom.
     I smiled, because I thought to myself, "I'm so glad these two gals are here so we can share our hearts and hopefully see Christ touch there hearts (inside). Yes, there was room to address the appropriateness of the dress, and I affirmed the leader's desire for us to be a ministry that models and encourages modesty. I also said it would be best for us to do nothing about the dress with these two gals right now. Rather, let's just love them where they are at, and introduce (or remind them) of a Savior who wants to love them right where they are at. We'll get the clothes sent to the Children's Ministry department in due time!
     
     
• You'll understand when you become a parent. Now that I am a parent, it's become, "You'll understand when you become a parent of a teenager." Now, I'll give latitude on this one. There have been many times already since becoming a parent that I see where this statement made to me pre-parenting was absolutely correct. When parents talk to me about the angst of seeing their child off for camp or a missions trip, I get it. I don understand much better now. When parents describe their utter confusion on how to be the best parent possible, hoping to find a nice 5-12 step process to walk through situations, I get it. When it's done in a way to simply say, we're struggling and we don't know how to best put into words that struggle, I get it.
  But here's what I don't get. A mom is walking through how while her daughter hits the party scene and decide it would be best to put her on birth control "just in case." A mom/dad have decided that their son's High School athletic career is so important that there will be no room for any church related activities (camps, retreats, non-Sunday morning programming) because that's the only way he'll make the starting lineup. In both of these situations, the "You'll understand when you become a parent" line is almost used to justify wrong actions. The parents are right, I may not understand. At the same time, I may understand, and even if I understand, that doesn't make an action right.
  One of my regular prayers is for courageous parents who will empathize with their students, show compassion toward their struggles, but stand strong in their principles and faith.

By no means do I have this thing figured out. I'm sure I've made many cliche statements and asked my share of completely insulting questions to those around me. I only share this little rant to remind myself and others that the world of Youth Ministry is.

1. A calling, not a stepping stone.
2. A tricky balance between action and seeing deeper into what's really going on.
3. A battle for truth and living a radical life where understanding will never trump what's right.

Jumbled in my mind

• Am I supposed to be capitalizing on my strengths, developing my weaknesses, or both? Both seems right but it get's really exhausting.
• How many mentoring/accountability/investing & being invested in relationships can I honestly take on at once?
• 25 years from now... What will my daughter be doing? Where will she be living? Wow will she be living?
• Why can't there be some level of aerobic value to Mario Kart Wii?
• To what level is the responsibility in ministry to be making people aware of their problems v. helping people with their problems v. loving people despite their problems? Or when do I should just remove the v.'s and just embrace the mess?
• How much prejudice is present in my life, and what can I do to become more aware?
• Do the Colts have it in them to get back to the Super Bowl and win it this year?
• Do other dads, husbands, youth pastors, and/or guys seeking to follow Christ feel as "in over their heads" as I feel?
• Do I really believe that "he who began a good work in me will carry it into completion.."
• Why do I sometimes struggle to fully accept that "His grace is sufficient for me" and that "in my weakness He's made stronger"?
  

On This 4th Of July

... I remember an amazing dad who loved, listened, and lived a life worth modeling (the 4th is his Birthday).
... I celebrate the freedom I'm able to live with due to the country where I was born.
... I remember the least, the lost, and the lonely that God has given me opportunity to meet in the past year who are not able to celebrate the freedom I know.
... I commit to continue to speak up for those who are the least, lost and lonely.
... I am grateful for an amazing local church family who I was able to celebrate with as ONE today.
... I cherish an amazing wife of 10 years.
... I adore the treasure that God has given me in a little 2 1/2 year old named Katylynn.
... I declare my freedom in Christ, yet claim that I am IN DEPENDENCE of the Almighty God.