Dewless

I'm not a coffee drinker. Don't like the taste.
I am, however, a Mountain Dew drinker. My caffeine is found through the Dew. This means it is not uncommon to see me walking around with a can, bottle, or 2-Liter (depending on the previous day's activity) early in the morning.
This morning I needed a Dew. I go out to the pop machine near our office and insert my dollar. I hit the Dew button, the 50 cents in change pops out, and a red light appears. You know that evil red light? Gone. No Dew at the inn.
No worries, I'll go over to our gym kitchen where we keep the 24 oz. bottles. Maybe I need a bottle anyway. I walk in to the gym kitchen only to see massive amounts of Pepsi, water and orange gatorade (who drinks orange gatorade anyway?)
The Dew shelf is Dewless. A slight moan comes from my mouth.

Why me?
Why now?
Why?