Saturday, September 16, 1995 - I hit rock bottom. I was a Freshman at Bethel College. My new friends from college had headed out for the night, and I was waiting for my old High School friends to show up. I remember laying there on my top bunk, and actually contemplating my life at a deep level... asking the big questions. It hit me in a big way, my life was empty. For the past 18 years, it had been all about me... my ways, my choices, my life. I was empty and had no hope.
I was also filled with fear.Fear of who I had become.
Fear of the future.
Fear of being alone.
I had spent 18 years in the church building up a ton of head knowledge about the God, Jesus Christ, Christianity... but I hadn't allowed any of it to sink to my heart. In that moment I cried. No, I balled like a little baby. I remember vividly I said out loud, "God, I don't know if you're really there or not, but if you are there, I think I'm ready to give you a try."
I had a CD playing (one of about five Christian artists that I owned at the time). The moment after I cried out, I heard these words from the song that was playing...
And he spoke to my heart,From the moment I prayed,
"There's a pattern I made for you."
I decided it was time to give God a try.
Monday, September 18 - Spiritual Emphasis week with Gary Wright starts. I didn't tell anyone what had happened to me on Saturday Night. I wasn't ready to go public yet. I told myself I wasn't going to miss any of the morning and evening chapel services during this time.
Wednesday Morning, September 20 - In the morning Chapel service, Gary gave an "invitation" at the close of the chapel service. I can't remember the specifics of the invitation Gary had given, but I knew I needed to respond that morning. It was time for me to "go public". I think there was about 4 people who stood up and walked to the front that morning. As I got up from my seat, I knew what I was saying. I was saying that I needed a Savior. I wanted to trust God.
Wednesday Night, September 20 - They had a time for people to share what God was doing in their life. I don't know why I did it, but I stood up in front of several hundred people and explained that pride had been holding me back from allowing Jesus into my life. I was done being proud. I was ready to follow.
That night, Gary talked about 3 of God's All Stars... Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. The challenge was to fully surrender to Christ, even if it meant facing death for his sake.
I remember sitting there thinking, "I've lived a lie for 18 years. If I'm going to do this, it's ALL or NOTHING." As we closed that night and I knelt at the front of the room, I knew what I was supposed to do with my life. God spoke to me. Still small voice? I think that's what I'd call it.
My life was to be spent investing in young people who were lost in the world of religion and invite them to discover a relationship with Christ!
Thursday, September 21 - I raised my hands for the first time during the music. I experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit as I woshipped him.
Friday, September 22 - Spiritual Emphasis Week had concluded. I had set up an appointment to meet with Dr Blowers and change my major to Biblical Studies. A Senior from Bethel (someone I really didn't know) walked up to me and said, "I've been watching you. You've changed over this past week."
That night, I started reading 1 Corinthians. I would go into a little corner of the bathrooms in Oakwood Hall and read a chapter every night. I moved on to 2 Corinthians. Then I decided to go back to Matthew. Over the next year, I rarely missed a night of reading from the New Testament and journaling.
That was a pivotal week in my life... one that truly changed everything for me. The journey has continued on with bumps, growth and so many other adventures.
Today I celebrate 13 years of a transformed life.
God is so good!
Wednesday Morning, September 20 - In the morning Chapel service, Gary gave an "invitation" at the close of the chapel service. I can't remember the specifics of the invitation Gary had given, but I knew I needed to respond that morning. It was time for me to "go public". I think there was about 4 people who stood up and walked to the front that morning. As I got up from my seat, I knew what I was saying. I was saying that I needed a Savior. I wanted to trust God.
Wednesday Night, September 20 - They had a time for people to share what God was doing in their life. I don't know why I did it, but I stood up in front of several hundred people and explained that pride had been holding me back from allowing Jesus into my life. I was done being proud. I was ready to follow.
That night, Gary talked about 3 of God's All Stars... Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. The challenge was to fully surrender to Christ, even if it meant facing death for his sake.
I remember sitting there thinking, "I've lived a lie for 18 years. If I'm going to do this, it's ALL or NOTHING." As we closed that night and I knelt at the front of the room, I knew what I was supposed to do with my life. God spoke to me. Still small voice? I think that's what I'd call it.
My life was to be spent investing in young people who were lost in the world of religion and invite them to discover a relationship with Christ!
Thursday, September 21 - I raised my hands for the first time during the music. I experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit as I woshipped him.
Friday, September 22 - Spiritual Emphasis Week had concluded. I had set up an appointment to meet with Dr Blowers and change my major to Biblical Studies. A Senior from Bethel (someone I really didn't know) walked up to me and said, "I've been watching you. You've changed over this past week."
That night, I started reading 1 Corinthians. I would go into a little corner of the bathrooms in Oakwood Hall and read a chapter every night. I moved on to 2 Corinthians. Then I decided to go back to Matthew. Over the next year, I rarely missed a night of reading from the New Testament and journaling.
That was a pivotal week in my life... one that truly changed everything for me. The journey has continued on with bumps, growth and so many other adventures.
Today I celebrate 13 years of a transformed life.
God is so good!
5 comments:
Derry:
My day came later in my college years. I graduated high school in 95 and went to Tri State in Angola. It was February of 1998 that God changed my life. So earlier this year I celebrated 10 years. Man, is God good.
Bill Sines
NLF
Derry-
I'd love to leave a comment on your current vice presidential poll. I'm all fired up :-). The poll is as follows:
"Most Prepared (meaning experience) to step in and be president"
Well, let's look at our options:
Sarah Palin's Experience:
Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska from 1996-2002
Governor of Alaska from 2006-
present
____________
Joe Biden's Experience:
US Senator from 1978-Present
Current Chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee (yea, this is kinda a big deal)
Former Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee
______________
Hhhmmmm...
Generally polls are about opinions, but with this one an individual can look at resumes and facts. One quite obviously out weights the other in experience. Am I wrong...? How can this poll be almost 50-50?
I have my theories, but I'd love to hear yours :-)
very cool...thanks for sharing it! Also, I'm sorry and sad I missed your latest Sunday morning message. I had commitments that kept me at WMC...but I will download and listen!!
It is cool that your spiritual rebirth took place on my physical birthday.
I also remember being in middle school at Wakarusa Missionary when you came to share with our little group. You shared exactly what you just blogged about and I remember thinking, "Huh, that's kinda cool. I never really knew that there was a difference between how he and I grew up, and how he is now."
I'd like to think that it was the beginning of something for me considering the similarity of our pasts.
Thanks for going all in. God's impacted many through you.
i remember that wednesday night - didn't really know you at the time. and i remember watching God change you over the years. it's been an encouraging thing to see.
-andrea runyon
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