BC Chapel... Monday Morning Curveball

I had the incredible privilege of speaking at Bethel College's Chapel service this morning. It was an awesome time, but man it was a growing experience for me. For multiple reasons...

1. Humbling. When I was in college, I dreamed of "arriving" to the point of where I would be deemed a worthy chapel speaker. I was stuck on myself. I was struck again as I prepared to speak to a ton of college students how unworthy and incapable I am to put the truth of God into words. It was a good reminder from God that it's not me. It's him.
2. Repentance Moment. I was pretty freaked out about the thought of standing before the very professors I had learned about ministry from. I also thought about all the times where I would head to class after Chapel and we would talk about the "dud" speaker. I've spent a lot of time over the past two weeks in preparation for the message. I checked and double-checked my exegesis. I worked my one-liners and my best illustrations out. I was ready to hit a Chapel walk-off homer and be carried out of the buildings on everyone's shoulders. Then I got really humbled on Friday as I considered how prideful and fleshly my preparations had been. I sat in my office and confessed, "God, this has been wrong. I give you this message. Use it as you see fit."
3. Curve Ball. It's started yesterday morning. As I was processing/praying on the way to the Colts game, I got a picture in my head of a girl sitting in chapel to the far right on the main floor toward the back. She was hopeless. She had given up on God because he wasn't delivering. She needed encouragement to know that he was there.
   Then on the drive back from the game, Kyle and I began to talk about Katylynn's adoption. Is was a pretty emotional and healthy walk back through the whole process we went through a year ago. I remembered the significant personal journey God had taken me on with Unanswered Prayer. I dropped Kyle off in Kokomo, and began to wrestle with God. Was I supposed to change my message? I told God I would change it if I woke up Monday Morning and it was clear that I was supposed it.
   It was in the shower Monday morning that it became clear. God had thrown me a curve ball. There was no doubt as I ran through the message (a common morning shower practice on days where I speak) that I was to talk about Engaging the moments when God is Silent.
   So with 40 minutes of prep time, God orchestrated some (what I hope was) clear words of encouragement for those who were journeying through the path of unanswered prayer.
   My stomach was in knots before I went up to speak. I hadn't dealt with that kind of stage fright for (I'd guess) nearly 8 years.
   I was able to close the message with a physical example of hope for those "engaging the silence" as I brought Katylynn on stage and she stole the show.
   

It was a healthy time for me. Stepping out in faith on what I believed God was saying to me. I'm trusting HE did what HE wanted to do.