Every time I walk toward the entrance to NorthWood High School, a spiritual battle takes place inside me.
A couple of you expressed intrigue over the above statement in my 25 Random Things post. Here's a little further explanation...
I'm not one that is looking for or finding a demon behind every rock. At the same time, I firmly believe there is a war at place that is not seen with the physical eye.
A couple of you expressed intrigue over the above statement in my 25 Random Things post. Here's a little further explanation...
I'm not one that is looking for or finding a demon behind every rock. At the same time, I firmly believe there is a war at place that is not seen with the physical eye.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.Ephesians 6:12
For the past 10-13 years, I have made countless visits to the NorthWood High School building for school lunches, appointments, sporting events, musicals, concerts, etc. Many times while driving down SR 19 and pulling up to the entrance, a pit forms in my stomach and the thought to just keep driving crosses my mind.
Every time, as I walk from my car to the main entrance, my insides are a jumbled, nervous wreck. Often, thoughts like, "You're a loser/a fake/ a terrible youth pastor" run through my mind.
It runs a little deeper than emotions, and I've come to the conclusion that the courtyard area is a place of battle for me.
Every time, as I walk from my car to the main entrance, my insides are a jumbled, nervous wreck. Often, thoughts like, "You're a loser/a fake/ a terrible youth pastor" run through my mind.
It runs a little deeper than emotions, and I've come to the conclusion that the courtyard area is a place of battle for me.
I see three significant factors that play a role in this.
Purpose - Almost every time, I'm heading into the school with Kingdom purpose in mind. I'm there to connect with and encourage students, or to meet with someone to talk Christ-focused issues in an area where that can be somewhat controversial. I'm also going onto the turf of students to interact with them. This is the place where their faith is being tested and put into action. It is where true growth takes place for them. It only makes sense that an enemy to these things happening would do anything possible to mess things up.
So does this internal battle take place at other schools (Wawasee, Fairfield, Bremen, Goshen, etc.)? It does, but not in the consistency and intensity I experience heading into NorthWood. That's why I think the next two factors are key.
Past - NorthWood is my High School. I graduated in 1995. The years there from 1991-1995 are filled with a lot of great memories, yet I was not following Christ in those years. Some of my biggest regrets took place inside the walls of that school. If they didn't take place inside the walls, the seeds of those regrets were either planted or watered there.
I, in a sense, find myself facing those "demons of the past" as I'm walking to the doors of the school. I think when you take my purpose in coming and mix it with my past, you find the third key element.
It's Personal - I want students grasp on and pursue all that God has for them. As I'm walking into that school, I'm coming face to face with an opportunity to encourage, push and challenge students toward an opportunity I missed out on during my high school days.
I take that personally. It's tempting to believe I need to try to earn points for my past by what I'm doing, and I have to denounce that mentality as I walk. I'm simply there to serve God where he's called me, and it's an awesome opportunity to do this in a place where I did not take advantage of that calling at a previous point in my life.
So, that's the battle. It's a positive battle. It reminds me that there's more at stake than just pushing for raising "good kids". I was a "good kid". I missed God in the midst of it, and those trips to my old High School can serve as great reminders that "the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)
Disclaimer: By no means do I believe NW High School to be evil grounds, nor do I believe the administration is responsible for any of the experiences outlined above. There are some incredible men and women of God that are a part of the Wa-Nee school system. My dad taught there for 87 years.
So does this internal battle take place at other schools (Wawasee, Fairfield, Bremen, Goshen, etc.)? It does, but not in the consistency and intensity I experience heading into NorthWood. That's why I think the next two factors are key.
Past - NorthWood is my High School. I graduated in 1995. The years there from 1991-1995 are filled with a lot of great memories, yet I was not following Christ in those years. Some of my biggest regrets took place inside the walls of that school. If they didn't take place inside the walls, the seeds of those regrets were either planted or watered there.
I, in a sense, find myself facing those "demons of the past" as I'm walking to the doors of the school. I think when you take my purpose in coming and mix it with my past, you find the third key element.
It's Personal - I want students grasp on and pursue all that God has for them. As I'm walking into that school, I'm coming face to face with an opportunity to encourage, push and challenge students toward an opportunity I missed out on during my high school days.
I take that personally. It's tempting to believe I need to try to earn points for my past by what I'm doing, and I have to denounce that mentality as I walk. I'm simply there to serve God where he's called me, and it's an awesome opportunity to do this in a place where I did not take advantage of that calling at a previous point in my life.
So, that's the battle. It's a positive battle. It reminds me that there's more at stake than just pushing for raising "good kids". I was a "good kid". I missed God in the midst of it, and those trips to my old High School can serve as great reminders that "the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)
Disclaimer: By no means do I believe NW High School to be evil grounds, nor do I believe the administration is responsible for any of the experiences outlined above. There are some incredible men and women of God that are a part of the Wa-Nee school system. My dad taught there for 87 years.
4 comments:
Ha! 87 years.
Thanks for taking the time to do a detailed explanation. Excellent post!
Here are two follow-up questions for you: Did you think you were following Christ during high school? While you were in high school, did anyone ever tell you that they didn't think you were following Christ?
Answer to your questions Steve...
At times I thought I was a "Christian", but I think if anybody would have sat me down and point blank asked me, "Are you a Christian" (which oddly enough never happened once), I think I would have answered "no". The best way I can explain it was that I never had my desire for a Savior connect with a faith that Jesus could be that Savior.
I don't think I ever told anyone the doubts concerning my faith. Upon encountering Christ in Sept. 1995, the next couple of months consisted of multiple conversations with friends, family, my youth group, etc. explaining that I'd been a phony.
I really appreciate it that you took the time to explain your comment in 25 Random Things. I agree with you that there is a war at place that is not seen with the physical eye. I want to encourage you in your work as a youth pastor and remember, Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.
B. Snyder
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