I'll allow this post as the final to my ongoing series on Unanswered Prayer.
An interview with myself...
Q - Derry, you started this series by using you and your wife's journey over a specific unanswered prayer. What was that?
A - We had prayed over and over for the past 5 years that God would allow us to have children, only to be met month after month by disappointment.
The prayer journey I've gone through on this blog and in life has been closely tied to our "baby journey."
Q - So, as you now see "an answer" to the "unanswered prayer" I've written extensively about, it begs a few questions...
A - Absolutely, I think it does. And I'd be glad to discuss those questions.
Q - First off, have any of your feelings or thoughts on unanswered prayer changed?
A - Yes and No.
"Yes" in the sense that as I've seen the unique way God has answered our prayers for a child, it can't help but shape and shift some of my views on how and why prayers go unanswered.
"No" in that I would not go back and change any of the thoughts or views I've expressed through the Unanswered Prayer series on this blog. I've written this series out of the personal journey and discoveries that I've had. I would hope that those thoughts have served as a point of resonate and reflection for any and all who have or are battling frustration through prayers met by silence or what seems to be the opposite of the desired effect.
Q - So, in your "yes" answer to the previous question, what specific "shift" in your views have taken place.
A - As I began openly and honestly wrestling with unanswered prayer, I was in the darkness, the "Good Friday" of my prayer life, if you will. I was surrounded monthly by death and silence in an extremely significant part of my life. Although this was a very healthy process, I also found myself very focused on words like "doubt" and "disappointment". These words are very much a part of anyone and everyone's life... especially a Christian's life.
Yet, in the process of living in "Good Friday world," it's easy to forget that we are an "Easter People." Jesus is victorious. There are answers. Every time I look into my daughter's eyes, there's a little part of me that says, "I'm sorry I doubted you God." But at the same time, I sense God saying, "You found me at a deeper level in your doubt."
Q - So, now that this prayer is answered, are you done wrestling with unanswered prayer?
A- Absolutely not. There are many other longstanding prayers in my life that I'm waiting to see how they will exactly flesh out. There are still questions and situations even inside our "baby journey" that bring out the reality of how amazingly complex the response of God to prayer can be.
A - No way, but, the crazy thing is she's really not ours. Now before you get all ticked off at me for saying that... she's no less or more "ours" than a baby born biologically to us would be. Katylynn belongs to God. She's been entrusted to us.
Nearly every night when I wake up and rock her, I whisper in her ear, "You belong to God, baby girl." Then I pray that I would never get in the way of what He has in store for her... that I would model what it means to "Seek First the Kingdom"... that I would provide guidance and direction toward a loving Heavenly Father that will take her on a wild and crazy journey toward eternity. Here's my point. All along I've been praying that God would give Janelle and I a child that we could call ours. I was wrong in that prayer. Maybe I should have been praying, "God would you bring us a child that we could call Yours."
I honestly don't know if I would have caught this any other way than through adoption (I really won't know).
I do know this, I love my daughter. I'm understanding Fatherly love like I've never understood it before. I can't see how I could love a biological daughter any more than I love my adopted daughter.
Q - So has God answered your prayer?
A - Boo ya. He has, and more. I echo the words of Paul:
Katylynn Ivy, you are a miraculous and complex answer to prayer.
An interview with myself...
Q - Derry, you started this series by using you and your wife's journey over a specific unanswered prayer. What was that?
A - We had prayed over and over for the past 5 years that God would allow us to have children, only to be met month after month by disappointment.
The prayer journey I've gone through on this blog and in life has been closely tied to our "baby journey."
Q - So, as you now see "an answer" to the "unanswered prayer" I've written extensively about, it begs a few questions...
A - Absolutely, I think it does. And I'd be glad to discuss those questions.
Q - First off, have any of your feelings or thoughts on unanswered prayer changed?
A - Yes and No.
"Yes" in the sense that as I've seen the unique way God has answered our prayers for a child, it can't help but shape and shift some of my views on how and why prayers go unanswered.
"No" in that I would not go back and change any of the thoughts or views I've expressed through the Unanswered Prayer series on this blog. I've written this series out of the personal journey and discoveries that I've had. I would hope that those thoughts have served as a point of resonate and reflection for any and all who have or are battling frustration through prayers met by silence or what seems to be the opposite of the desired effect.
Q - So, in your "yes" answer to the previous question, what specific "shift" in your views have taken place.
A - As I began openly and honestly wrestling with unanswered prayer, I was in the darkness, the "Good Friday" of my prayer life, if you will. I was surrounded monthly by death and silence in an extremely significant part of my life. Although this was a very healthy process, I also found myself very focused on words like "doubt" and "disappointment". These words are very much a part of anyone and everyone's life... especially a Christian's life.
Yet, in the process of living in "Good Friday world," it's easy to forget that we are an "Easter People." Jesus is victorious. There are answers. Every time I look into my daughter's eyes, there's a little part of me that says, "I'm sorry I doubted you God." But at the same time, I sense God saying, "You found me at a deeper level in your doubt."
Q - So, now that this prayer is answered, are you done wrestling with unanswered prayer?
A- Absolutely not. There are many other longstanding prayers in my life that I'm waiting to see how they will exactly flesh out. There are still questions and situations even inside our "baby journey" that bring out the reality of how amazingly complex the response of God to prayer can be.
- The adoption placement was narrowed down to two couples. As Emily chose us, another couple was being told for the 4th time that although they came close, this was not "their time." I hurt for them in the midst of our rejoicing, as their prayers seemingly go unanswered.
- We, on more than one occasion, have prayed that Janelle would become pregnant, carry, and give birth to a healthy child. That prayer goes unanswered.
A - No way, but, the crazy thing is she's really not ours. Now before you get all ticked off at me for saying that... she's no less or more "ours" than a baby born biologically to us would be. Katylynn belongs to God. She's been entrusted to us.
Nearly every night when I wake up and rock her, I whisper in her ear, "You belong to God, baby girl." Then I pray that I would never get in the way of what He has in store for her... that I would model what it means to "Seek First the Kingdom"... that I would provide guidance and direction toward a loving Heavenly Father that will take her on a wild and crazy journey toward eternity. Here's my point. All along I've been praying that God would give Janelle and I a child that we could call ours. I was wrong in that prayer. Maybe I should have been praying, "God would you bring us a child that we could call Yours."
I honestly don't know if I would have caught this any other way than through adoption (I really won't know).
I do know this, I love my daughter. I'm understanding Fatherly love like I've never understood it before. I can't see how I could love a biological daughter any more than I love my adopted daughter.
Q - So has God answered your prayer?
A - Boo ya. He has, and more. I echo the words of Paul:
Ephesians 3:20
20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Katylynn Ivy, you are a miraculous and complex answer to prayer.
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