Where I Want to Be

I feel like my worship/prayer life is borderline hypocritical.

I tend to cringe and have a little battle in my mind and heart when I'm challenged by a worship leader who says, "Only sing this if you really mean it." The reason being that more times than not, I find my prayers to be, "God, I'm struggling to, but here's what I want to do for you."  I find the attitude in the songs I sing to be, "God, I'm not quite there yet, but this is where I want to be."

My wife recently had a conversation with a student during a worship session (we were singing songs together) where she just seemed unengaged/ emotionally dead.  The gal told Janelle, "I can't sing these songs because I don't mean them."  My wife, as only she can do, helped the gal unpack her thoughts and that statement.   This gal was at a bit of a stalemate in her walk with Jesus.  She'd let some areas of her life slip, and she was feeling terrible about it.  Janelle encouraged her to take up a different attitude as she sang that night.  She gave her permission to sing, not about where she currently was, but for where she wants to be.

Currently, this song fits that mold for me.  God, I sing this song not because I'm there, but because it's where I want to be...