5 Major Themes in 2009: Theme #5

Theme #5: Love people. Use things. Never get the two mixed up.

It was during my college years my mom passed this nugget of advice on to me.

This year, I've been very convicted about a mindset that's began to creep in on me. It's a consumerist, therapeutic, it's all about me, do everything I can to make my life easy mentality that I would say is running rampant all around us. I've been very tempted to get the two mixed up.

• In ministry, you would think it would be easy to remember that people are not pawns, but the temptation can rise to think just the opposite.
• There are many students that I see as obstacles to ministry. God, forgive me for not realizing they ARE the ministry.
• I can't count the number of times I've had a thought, "If I just had ______ (insert blank with a "thing") life sure would be ___________ (insert some statement that indicates an easier life)."
• I enjoy disc golf, fantasy football, watching ESPN, the internet, my ipod, and fast food. They are all things. At times I think I run the risk of letting these THINGS take priority over the PEOPLE in my life.
• Last year, we disconnected our internet at home... partly to save some money, but mainly because I had gotten out of whack and was letting the THING take priority over the PEOPLE in my life (mainly my wife and daughter).

One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Matthew 22:35-40

We live in a society where we need salvation from our stuff. We need to recapture what it means to love people. Jesus said that Loving God and loving people are one in the same. It's all about Him and others.

For me, the big theme here has been taking one step further. I believe the "stuff" in my life is only there so I can better love God and love people. At times, the stuff can be used in a way that sets me up to love people. At times, some of that stuff needs to be sacrificed in order to love people better.

5 Major Themes of 2009: Theme #4

Theme #4: Gain Awareness. Give Sacrificially. Live Differently.

These are the key points to our Kids In Need focus this year.

1. Gain awareness of the needs facing kids worldwide.
2. Give sacrificially of our time, talents and treasures toward those needs.
3. Live differently because of Kids In Need.
   

This focus is messing with me personally in major ways. I can't look at things the same way as I'm learning and seeking to be a catalyst of vision and practicality for our students. The big thing I'm learning that gain, give and live applies to my life beyond simply Kids In Need.

I want to be a part of something significant. Something bigger than me. The minute I entered into a relationship with Christ, I did just that. It was actually on September 20, 1995 I made a public stand saying accepting what Christ had done for me and wanting to live out a relationship with Christ. After 18 years of religion, I made a commitment with God that it would be all or nothing.

What followed and continues to follow has looked like this:

1. Gain awareness of an area of my life that deserves attention or a ministry opportunity God is leading me toward.
2. Give sacrificially of my time talents and/or treasures to address the issue in my life, or toward that opportunity.
3. Live differently because of the awareness gained and the time/talents/treasures given.

This process has been one that is filled with great joys and powerful encounters with God.
The process has been shared by others, shared alongside others, and shared to others.
The process has produced fruit I never could have imagined.
The process has been filled with hiccups, bumbles and fumbles.
The process has seen failures and lack of follow through.

Sometimes give and live take up a different order. I rarely find the process healthy when Give or Live jump in front of Gain.

Austin Hostetter is an NMC grad now attending Ball State University. Last week he attended a lecture from Ishmael Beah, author of A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier (a book now on my "to read" list). Beah is a young man from Sierra Leone who was forced into an army, given drugs to get him addicted, and taught to kill. He was eventually rescued and rehabilitated. On his blog, Austin posted some reflections on the lecture. This little section from the post especially struck me...

Towards the end, a student asked how we could help Sierra Leone.

Beah stated that the only way to help a cause is to learn about it. Through learning about the situation, you will find what you need to do. He went on to tell a story about a school who asked him a similar question, and he gave them the same response. The school then took time to research what had happened in Sierra Leone and realized that many schools were destroyed during the war. So the children raised money to build a new school, and even went down to Sierra Leone to build it. Beah said this experience gave them a connection with the cause they were supporting.

As we worked through the focus of Kids In Need, and came agreed upon gain, give and live, I was struck with how much this is a life theme for me.

Gain awareness... I never want to stop learning.
Give sacrificially... I never want to grow weary of serving.
Live differently... I never want to stop growing.

God has been continually bringing opportunities to gain, give and live. Through that process, I have continually found myself connected to things bigger than myself.

5 Major Themes in 2009: Theme #3

Theme #3: The mountain is about perspective. The valley is about growth.

(This is a story I often use with students at the close of a retreat, camp, or missions trip)

I love the view of mountains. I absolutely love the view FROM the mountains. Interestingly, you'll notice something about mountains. The higher you get, the less green you see. It's mainly rock, dirt and snow. If you look down to the valley, you will likely see tons of vegetation and water. It's a picture of God's amazing creation, but it's also an important picture of how our lives work.

God will give us "mountain top" and "valley" experiences. We often think that because the mountain top experience are emotionally up times, we have experienced growth, and because the valley experiences are emotionally low times, we are experientially.

I am becoming more and more aware that the mountain top experiences are NOT GROWTH. They are moments of perspective. The valleys are not spiritual crash points, but instead the true opportunity for growth.

We made this a focal point of Summer Camp this year. It was illustrated this this beautiful picture I made:

I've seen this take place in my life so many times. It has been especially true through the years for me. Whether it's battling through infertility, depression, ministry hardships or the loss of my dad, I've hated the valleys. At the same time, I would never trade what I've learned about myself and my Savior through those times is invaluable. The 2008-2009 year may have been the toughest year personally and in ministry that I've ever walked through, and I'm grateful for all I've learned through it.

As I've seen this theme this year, there is a major question I'm wrestling through...

If there's growth in the valleys, do we let them come to us, or are there times where we should intentionally run into the valleys?

5 Major Themes in 2009: Theme #2

Theme #2: Life is a series of events that prepare us for the next event.

A quote from me on Sunday, January 25 as I stood in front of the NMC body and shared a message in the "Uncharted Territory" series. The focus of the message was how God desires to prepare us so we can navigate uncharted territory. In the midst of uncharted territory, we must seek His perspective to make it through.

2 weeks later, I was in Elkhart General Hospital saying good bye to my dad (at least for now). God had given me a message to share with others that I was now living in a more significant reality than ever before. The message had played a role in preparing me for uncharted territory. I'm seeing this reality played out again and again.

... 6 years of doubt, question, frustration, and disappointment as we tried to have a baby. Little did I know that God was preparing me for something amazing in a little girl named Katylynn.

... Flying home from India in 2006. I'd spent some time talking to Caleb Bislow about his vision for the Maasai Project. I turned to Janelle and said, "What If we asked the NMC students to come alongside Caleb? That question led to Maasai Night. Maasai Night led to Kenya Night. Kenya Night led to Rwanda Night. Now Rwanda Night is leading to a year dedicated to Kids In Need. Each one very significant in and of themselves, but ultimately preparing us for something more.

... This Summer, our PhillyGO team came home with a phrase... "You Gotta Want It."Our IMPACT team (not knowing about Philly's phrase) came home with a phrase... "How bad do you want it?" Hearing about these two phrases, it became clear that we were being prepared for a challenge at Summer Camp for students to stand up and say "I Want It!" The meaning was that they want to follow Christ above all else. The Wednesday before we kicked off here at NMC, we looked at those phrases, and realized it was time to say, "Let's Do This!" Each phrase was significant and meaningful at the time, but we ultimately preparing us for the next phrase.

One of Janelle's favorite movies is "Meet the Robinsons" (I really enjoy it as well). A key phrase that this young orphan boy grasps onto is "Keep Moving Forward." As he faces trials and triumphs, he learns that he must continue to learn from both and press on.

I believe my life, and your life is filled with events that are both significant in the moment, and significant for what's to come. I'd love to say I nailed it every time in taking advantage of the events in my life in order to be prepared for what's next. I haven't.

I'd love to give you a list of examples for when I've done that. I do know that I took way too long to embrace the journey when it came to our battle with infertility. But, trying to find an example where I missed out on what's next, I can't give one. When I don't allow events to prepare me for the next event, I likely robbed myself the opportunity to take part in that "next event".

Ephesians 5:
¹⁵Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

5 Major Themes in 2009: Theme #1

This is a 5 part series leading into a big announcement on this blog September 23, 2009. I simply want to reflect on 5 significant themes that have been present in my life this year.THEME #1: A Dad Makes a difference.
What kind of difference? That's your call.

In the post "Some Strong Opinions" (written March 24, 2009), I stated "The greatest detriment or assistance to a teenage girls spiritual growth is the relationship with her father."

Rob then commented on that post, "So with you on this one...and not just gals...missing fathers hurts both sons and daughters, and it's happening more and more with each generation. How can we expect those kids to be role models in parenting and relationships if they've never had one?"

Rob is right on. Here's how this theme has been showing up over the past year:

1. Losing my dad. When my dad died in February, it obviously caused me to stop and consider the man I had as a father. In the months following, I can only confirm what one of my more immediate thoughts after his death stated: "Here’s the thing about dad’s impact on me, I’m struggling to find where that impact was to my detriment." Are there regrets? Absolutely. Do I wish some things would have happened differently in our relationship? You bet. But I can say without hesitation much of the positive you see in me is the direct result of the investment of a consistently present, loving, supportive, and full of integrity dad.
2. Sharing with Parents Last Spring. As a part of a Wednesday Night Adult Elective we did last May, I took some time to walk through my observational experience with NMC students. I took several (8-10 of each gender) students I would consider had healthy relationships with their dad. As I did, some characteristics rose to the top.
   
   Guys who had a healthy relationship with dad tended to...
   • follow through on commitments.
   • respect authority figures in their life.
   • Step up and lead when there is a need for a leader (not always vocal leadership, but inside their personality).
   • be passionate about Christ and outwardly express it (if their dads were).
   
   Gals who had a healthy relationship with dad tended to:
   
   • Have a healthier self image.
   • Have an optimistic and positive outlook on life/situations.
   • Date around less.
   • Excel in extra-curriculars.
   • Eat more Meat (ok, not really).
   
   The list is not authoritative or exhaustive, but it is what rose to the top as I took time to reflect.
   
   
3. Students Falling Apart. Substance abuse, depression, sexual activity, making a decision about the future. I can think of discussions with students covering each of the crises mentioned. One of my common questions is, "What's your relationship like with your parents." I can think of conversations with each of those topics where it became clear quickly that the student was dealing with a non-existent or strained father-figure in his/her life.
4. Strong Fathers/ Strong Daughters. A book I read last Spring that challenged me. It's written from the perspective of a doctor who has seen the fallout of the absent father in the home. It was challenging, insightful and filled with some great practical steps I hope to put into practice.
5. In Her Eyes. She's almost 22 months old, and I can see it already. It's just little moments when I look in her eyes, whether their sparkling with joy or with tears, and it's clear to me that all I need to do is...
   
   • Make sure she knows I love her no matter what.
   • Be there when she needs me.
   • Let go when she needs me to.
   • Show her an earthly example of a Heavenly Father.
   • Show her how a real man treats his wife.
   • Listen, then listen some more.
     
   • Beat the crud out of any guy who disrespects her.
   • Serve as an enforcer of rules.
   Not a big deal, right? It was really easy to tell dads and moms how to do their job before I had a kid. There's very little that's changed in what I would say or believe when it comes to parenting. It's a lot easier said than done. I have a new level of reality, responsibility, and absolute desperation for God's protection and provision now that I look into the eyes of my little girl.
   

Dad's, you have power and lots of it. Are you using it, abusing it, or neglecting it?

Coming Wednesday, September 23

A major announcement at www.derryprenkert.com.

Leading into the announcement, a 5 part mini series... 5 major themes of 2009.